Feeling Nostalgic

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This morning I woke up with strong urge to write.

And suddenly I remembered about my long lost and forgotten blog and couldn’t shoved it out of my mind for the entire day.

I spent my lunch time visiting this blog, re-read everything and somehow it feels so emotional for me.

Those past memories are rushing back to the surface.

So here I am on my late night writing session, trying to collect all of my writings from my Path and Instagram accounts, and trying to re-write some of them to this blog.

I never realized that I wrote so much in the past years. It is time to put everything in one platform. Just so I don’t forget my own stories.

Stories exist as a reminder, of the things that I’ve gone through in life.

But stories also have to be made.

So I hope I will always have the courage to go out there and create more stories for myself.

On Sadness

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Tonight, I am reminded that everyone has their own battle. The suppressed feeling. The unspoken sadness.

They might not show it, but that doesn’t mean that the pain is not real.

But I hope, I really hope that you’re doing okay.

Sleep well.

Tomorrow is another day.

On Fear

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I think most of us have certain fear that we may not realize until it’s time for us to face it.

Then we have two options: fight or flight. The easiest is (probably) to flight. But that means we keep that fear with us.

But what if, you want to fight but you’re not sure whether you’ll win or not? is it worth it? Is it worth the damage?

But what if, it’s never about the winning? What if, it’s actually about the courage to try? What if, it’s about trust? How much do you trust yourself?

Do you trust yourself?

What if, fear is present in the exact moment that you need to trust yourself once again? That when fear is come, it’s a sign that something good will happen to you.

But only if you trust yourself with the courage to try.

On Being Strong

We are who we choose to be.

I’m not born strong. In life, so many times I ended up screaming to myself “I’m tired, I’m scared, I’m lost, can I just stop, can I be not care, can I go back and hide, I’m not doing this anymore, I can’t, I just can’t”. And that’s how weak I am.

But I don’t run from myself. I travel. I travel to the other side of the globe. I travel to every corner of my inner self. I travel to find beauty. I travel to heal. I travel to face my fears. I travel to understand. I travel to see. I travel to feel.

And I travel to trust myself. That this internal compass will lead me to wherever life needs me to learn a lesson. Or two. And I travel to have hope. To choose. Will I go back or go on? And I know. More often than not, I choose to go on. To try new roads. To try new turns. To lost myself even further. Because that’s how I learn. That’s how I try to be strong. That’s how I lost and found myself again. That’s how I choose to live. That’s how I choose to be strong.

I’m Not Lost.

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This is my end of year reflection.

What do I do in new year’s eve?

Getting lost. Again. In a city I don’t familiar with.

I started to think that being lost is my theme for this year. I don’t feel belong to the work I’m currently into. I don’t really know what I want in life. Most of the time I feel clueless. I don’t feel I’m on the right track.

And maybe I need this trip to constantly throw me to strange place, to the wrong place, to where I’m not supposed to be. Just to teach me that there is beauty in every corner, even in unthinkable places. That there are lights in places that never occured to me. That above everything, I need to trust myself, every reason, every decision, and every step that I ever made. That I will always aligned with life.

I’m not lost. I’m creating my own path.

Copenhagen.
December 31st, 2014.