I’m not born strong. In life, so many times I ended up screaming to myself “I’m tired, I’m scared, I’m lost, can I just stop, can I be not care, can I go back and hide, I’m not doing this anymore, I can’t, I just can’t”. And that’s how weak I am.
But I don’t run from myself. I travel. I travel to the other side of the globe. I travel to every corner of my inner self. I travel to find beauty. I travel to heal. I travel to face my fears. I travel to understand. I travel to see. I travel to feel.
And I travel to trust myself. That this internal compass will lead me to wherever life needs me to learn a lesson. Or two. And I travel to have hope. To choose. Will I go back or go on? And I know. More often than not, I choose to go on. To try new roads. To try new turns. To lost myself even further. Because that’s how I learn. That’s how I try to be strong. That’s how I lost and found myself again. That’s how I choose to live. That’s how I choose to be strong.
Getting lost. Again. In a city I don’t familiar with.
I started to think that being lost is my theme for this year. I don’t feel belong to the work I’m currently into. I don’t really know what I want in life. Most of the time I feel clueless. I don’t feel I’m on the right track.
And maybe I need this trip to constantly throw me to strange place, to the wrong place, to where I’m not supposed to be. Just to teach me that there is beauty in every corner, even in unthinkable places. That there are lights in places that never occured to me. That above everything, I need to trust myself, every reason, every decision, and every step that I ever made. That I will always aligned with life.